Today I helped my mom pack up what was left of our home on Bark Ridge and left my childhood home in my rear view mirror.
I don’t know why, but moving out of the only home you’ve ever known is a little heartbreaking. This is the first time we have moved since I was just a newborn.
It could be the memories, the circumstances, or a mixture of both that just floods my heart with emotions. I’m happy for a new start, anxious for the new changes, hopeful for a better future, and sad for the situation; maybe I will share that part of the story one day… when I’m ready.
I finally got a moment to sit and reflect on life lately I just couldn’t help but be overly thankful for what’s going on. It dawned on me… I have literally been praying for this for years.
Do you ever catch yourself being so anxious and worried when God is revealing new mercies in your life? Yeah same. But just take a second and think about it. You probably prayed for answers, or changes, or for him to reveal himself through this horrible situation.
That’s been life for me lately. So many changes have left me feeling worried. What’s going to happen when I graduate? What if I’m not happy? I have to stop myself in the midst of those thoughts and remind myself. “Lauren you literally have prayed for years for God to reveal his plan for you. For God to show you what path you should take. For God to fix this ‘horrible’ situation.”
AND HE’S DOING JUST THAT!
Change is good people. I love change!!! The quote is true; “Nothing comes from staying in your comfort zone.” When things are changing in your life God is working. I think about changes that have happened in the past that scared me to death, and guess what? Those changes brought some of the most amazing memories, friends, relationships and opportunities.
3 years ago I decided to change universities. Some days I think that was the worst decision of my life and other days I could cry happy tears thinking about all the positive opportunities that decision gave me.
I have always said, I don’t regret a single thing I have done in the past. Every decision, relationship, mistake and opportunity has taught me something significant that I will cherish forever.
Friends, embrace the change happening in your life. It could bring you the best opportunity you’ve ever had, the career you’ve been praying for, the person that you’re meant to spend forever with or an un-explainable happiness that can only come from our heavenly father.
If you aren’t aware, I graduate from college in 5 weeks. I enter into the real world and start a big girl job. Or at least that’s what is supposed to happen. The problem is, a big girl job is a lot harder to find than I ever imagined.
For the past 3 months so many questions have taken over my mind. Why hasn’t anyone emailed me back? Why haven’t I gotten an interview? What is wrong with my resume? Is all of my hard work for the past 4 years even going to pay off? Where am I going to move to? Should I move back home? I think I ask myself at least 2 of these questions every single day.
About a month ago I applied for a Flight Attendant position with American Airlines. Just like every job I’ve applied to, I submit the application thinking well this is cool but no way they’ll ever contact me back. What do ya know – they emailed me back within a week to submit a video interview. I completed that on Saturday, March 16th and went on vacation and forgot about it. Once again thinking, they won’t email me back.
Tuesday, March 26th: Sitting at my desk at work I get an email “Congratulations on passing your video assessment! As part of your Trainee Flight Attendant application, we are inviting you for a Face-To-Face Interview at American Airlines Training and Conference Center in Fort Worth, Texas.”
WHAT THE HECK!!!!
I immediately call Ethan (Thank you God for this man) and begin to freak out. I’m nervous, anxious, scared and unsure. He convinces me to just go for it. He assures me I have nothing to lose, it would be a great opportunity and well it is honestly my dream job…
I complete the form and in 2 days I’m scheduled to fly to Dallas at 5:30 am, interview at 10 am and fly back home that night.
Wednesday, April 3rd: I wake up at 1:30 am, get ready, and drive to the airport to check in by 4 am. Sitting at the gate I wasn’t really nervous, I was just still in shock. I’m feeling really lucky that this is actually happening and just not sure what to expect. I sit there and pray that this process would be smooth and God would clearly reveal if this was the right job for me.
We take off from Nashville around 6 am and we arrive in Dallas at 8 am.
After walking to the wrong pick-up location, twice, and getting on the wrong American Airlines shuttle, I finally find the correct location and get on a shuttle to head to the Training and Conference Center.
There’s about 25 interviewees in the same boat as I am. We meet in the lobby, introduce ourselves, and around 9:30 a recruiter comes to get us and leads us to our meeting room.
Throughout the day we completed a group exercise, a group interview and listened to a presentation about the company.
Everything was going great, I felt so good about the interview (I love interviews so much, I know, I’m weird) But.. about halfway through the presentation I begin to have doubts, and I notice some red flags. If I get this job am I going to be happy, am I going to make enough money to support myself, am I going to have to move away from my family??
The presentation is over and we’re notified that we will be taken out one-by-one, to walk with a recruiter to our shuttle and back to the airport.
Much time passes and finally my name is called. I meet with a manager and by the end of the conversation he hands me a paper and says, “Congrats I’m offering you the job, here you go, sign this paper and we’ll be seeing you at training in May.”
Again, WHAT THE HECK?!
Still feeling unsure, and SO overwhelmed. I ask more questions and eventually sign this contingent contract to attend their 6 week training.
He leads me out of the room and I go through a series of tests, a drug screen, photos, paperwork and fingerprint scans. About an hour later I’m finished and get walked out of the building to head back to the airport.
I’m on cloud 9, so excited, but still there’s something in my head telling me it may not be right for me. Again, I pray that God will reveal to me if this is the right job for me.
I get back home around 8 that night and immediately go to Ethan’s so we can hash this out. He is the most grounded, sound, and realistic person and I value his advice and opinion more than anyone’s.
Long story short – there are more con’s than pro’s for me and I just don’t know that this is the perfect fit for me and my future. I haven’t made a final decision but I do know that God has a plan for me and my future!!!! I will remain prayerful and hopeful that he will soon reveal the path I should take.
I am sharing this story to say, God’s timing is so much better than mine and I am slowly learning to accept that fact and truly, 100% trust his plan.
Friends, I’m speaking from experience, do not let fear and worry and doubt get the best of you. For the past 3 months I’ve had a mental breakdown, gotten discouraged, and questioned my plans and dreams. It is not worth it. Give God your worries and fears. He went to the cross for just that, to bear our burdens.
Through this season of life I’m holding on to this verse and I hope it will bring you some peace too –
1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.